Year Nine - 1975

Now we get to second grade. Here is where I really started to make some choices in my life. I started to define who I was and what I preferred in life. I started to sing along with more songs on the radio. I had songs that I really liked (Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers). And watched television shows that I enjoyed (Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries).

This was also the year that I developed one of my first crushes. And it was on a girl. I know! I was surprised too. Her name was Julie Long. She was an adorable little girl with curly blond hair. Kind of like Cindy on the Brady Bunch. She seemed very cute and nice. And popularity was starting to happen in our social circles. I thought she was probably one of the most popular people in the second grade. I remember sitting in class and staring at her. And then one day near Valentine's Day, I made her a card out of notebook paper. I asked her if she liked me. Yes, it was all about me. I did not include how I daydream about her.... And then I circled my question in a pencil written heart. I remember giving her the card in a daze. And waiting hopefully for her to return it to me with her answer. Well, I got my answer. "No!"

That was a cold splash of water on my ego. Suddenly I felt insecure and paranoid. I was rejected by someone I thought was so nice. What did that say about me? I would look over at Julie still and every time she would laugh I though she was mocking me. I went from having a crush....to being crushed. I thought I must have done something wrong. A few months later I remember telling my mother that I wanted to get a small tin of candies for someone at school. I am sure she was thrilled and amused. She bought me a fancy tin of hard candies wrapped up in clear cellophane. It looked very nice and kind of expensive to me. School was going to be taking a break for a week. Probably spring break. And at the end of the day I got the gift out. I walked right up to Julie before she got on her school bus. And I handed her the candies. I said "I wanted to give this to you". And then I turned and walked away. I could not even stay a moment longer to see what her expression was....other than total surprise that I was handing her this gift with no real reason. And then, I never spoke to her about it ever again. Man, I had some kind of passive aggressive thing happening. I still had a little crush on her....every time I saw her through the rest of our school years. But, I avoided every really talking to her ever again.

Julie was great. I remember her always being popular. She was athletic and excelled at gymnastics. I kind of doubt she even remembers much of any of this....

I have seen recently that we have many common friends on Facebook. She is married and has children. Looks like she has a great life and I am happy for her. I requested to be her Facebook friend a few weeks ago.....and I got my answer. No. LOL!